Fanfic: TWILIGHT FAIL (Starring Arashi)

After some banter back and forth with Kytana... b/c my facebook profile pic makes me look like bella, she mentioned having Aiba that "sparkles" <3 And that inspired the both of us to write a fic with Aiba that sparkles! ^_^ So here's mine, and I can't WAIT to read Kytana's! <3 Much love, girl! This one is dedicated to you. And to Aiba that Sparkles. <33

 

TWILIGHT FAIL
Starring Arashi (Minus Sho, until the very end)

Scene 1

(Aiba enters room where Nino is sitting, not paying attention to him)
Aiba: Nino.
Nino: (mildly annoyed, not looking up) What?
Aiba: I'm sparkling.
Nino: (looks up, sees Aiba sparkling, and jumps up) Holy --! What happened to you, Aiba?
Aiba: (looking at his arms as they sparkle) I dunno, I woke up and I was sparkling in the sun.
Nino: (starts pacing around) Oh my God. I know what this is. (runs fingers through hair) This is terrible, this is - AIBA! What do you think you're DOING??
(Aiba is running around outside in the sun, yelling, "Weeee!")
(Nino tackles Aiba down, and drags him back inside the house)
Nino: THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC!
Aiba: (reasonably) Then why are you panicking?
Nino: Pfft. I'm not. I'm merely trying to save you from your own stupidity.
(Nino sits Aiba down, sits accross from him, and look him in the eyes)
Nino: Do you know what this means?
Aiba: Err... now I'll match our con outfits? (grins)
(Nino smacks him on the forehead)
Aiba: Ow (rubs spot on forhead)
Nino: Don't be obtuse. It means... (cue horror music) This is a really bad Twilight fic.

[Enter title Credit: the word "Twilight" is crossed out and next to it is writing "Sparkly Aiba"]

Scene 2

(Nino walks up to Jun)
Nino: (darkly) We have a problem?
Jun: (looks up from doing nails) Eh? Don't tell me your nail polish ran out again.
Nino: (hisses) I TOLD you never to mention that again! It was only that one time.
Jun: (smirks) Sure.
Nino: Actually, the problem is...
(Half-naked Aiba appears in the background, running around in the sun, shouting, "I SPARKLE!")
Nino: (darkly) THAT.
Jun: (drops nail polish) Oh... my.
[enter Ohno]
Ohno: What's up, guys?
Jun: (runs hand through his hair) Nothing. Only the fact that Aiba is turned into the victim of a really bad Twilight-slash fic.
Ohno: (bites into apple) Really? Do you think he might wanna come fishing with me?
(Jun and Nino stare at Ohno, dumbfoundly)
Ohno: What?
Jun: Your tan...
Ohno: (eyerolls) Yes, I know I'm tanned-
Nino: (grabs Ohno's right wrist) No, LOOK!
(Ohno's arms, up to his elbows, are pale white)
(Nino and Jun look up at each other in horror)
Ohno: (holds out apple with both hands, and laughs) Hey, look guys! This reminds me of a book cover I saw at Borders-
(Jun snatches Ohno's wrist this time) Oh, God. we've got to get some help this time.
Nino: (nods) Yes, this is desperate. Only one person can save us now.
Jun: (eyes narrow) The author.

Scene 3

(Liz, in her room, in front of the computer, typing.
There is a knock at the door.
Liz jumps up out of her seat, leaves the computer, and opens it.
There, standing by the door is a furious, and glowering Nino and Jun. Behind them is a bemused Ohno, and Aiba, who looks like he wants to run around in the sun,
is actually wearing black clothes - long sleeved, with a hoodie, hat, sunglasses, sunscreen, long black pants, and black doc martins. Obviousy he was made to wear these
by Jun and Nino)
Liz: (neverously) He...llo?
(Nino and Jun push their way into the house)
Jun: What are you doing here?
Liz: (mildly annoyed) I was gonna ask you guys the same question. You're ARASHI. What are YOU guys doing here?
(Nino shoves Aiba in front of Liz, who bumps into her, and they nearly topple over)
Nino: HE'S the reason we're here.
(Aiba gives a sheepish smile)
(Nino takes off Aiba's hoodie, and they all gasp as they see the glitter on his body)
Liz: Oh... my.
Jun: We figured out YOU are the fic author.
Nino: Yeah! So DO something about this.
Liz: This isn't MY fault.
Nino: Um, yes. It is.
Liz: (stares at Aiba carefully) Just wondering, what were you doing last night?
Aiba: (surpised by the question) Oh! Hum... (thinks about it) I was working on a birthday card to the Age-jo girls.
(Aiba's eyes widen in revelation)
Aiba: Ahh!!! That's right! I was putting the glitter on the cards before I fell asleep. I think I fell asleep into a pile of glitter on the table.
Liz: (looks smugly at Nino) Mm-hm..
Nino: (narrow's his eyes) Well, that still doesn't explain OHNO'S pale, white arms.
Liz: (pulls a confused-looking Ohno forward by the arm) It rubs off, see? (rubs white powdery stuff off)
(Nino and Jun look at each other, amazed)
(Ohno looks from one boy to the other)
Ohno: I was gonna tell you guys, before you dragged me on an Airplane and brought me to the U.S., that I was baking a cake.
Jun: Pfft! Who bakes a cake up to their elbows in flour?
Ohno: (sheepish) I heard certain tackle-fish like cake for bait.
(Jun and Nino are dumbfounded).
Liz: (loops her arm through Aiba's) Shall we go and have some dinner?

THE END

Sho: what about me? I wasn't in this movie!!
Liz: (pats him) It's okay, Sho. Next time.
(shot of Sho with golden eye-contacts)
Sho: Aww, man. And I was gonna tell everyone I was a vampire. (sniffles)

THE [REAL] END